Fat to Fit to Fierce

Why Are You Fat?

I realize that not all of you are fat, but some of you are overweight. Please don’t take offensive. I’m actually posing the question to myself. Why are you fat Carli? I figure deep down inside there must be a part of me that enjoys carrying around the extra pounds. It sounds ridiculous, but logically, there must be something about it that I like holding on to…. My little sister and I were sitting around while we were supposed to be going to gym and starting discussing our weight. It was so odd that she had the same reasoning that I had. She said there must be something about it that we like, if we continue to stay like this.
I saw a specialist on Oprah a few months ago and he challenged us to answer several questions about being overweight. I casually, yet honestly jotted down my responses as I watched that episode. I was shocked to go back later and read them. I decided to share them with you. I’m spilling my guts, but that’s what I always do here.
Question 1: Why Am I Overweight?
My answer: Because I feed my emotions, both good and bad with food. I enjoy eating and don’t like asking for help or feeling like I can’t do it by myself. I don’t like things that can’t be permanently fixed or finished.
Question 2: Why Do I Want to Lose Weight?
My answer: I want to be comfortable in my own skin, I want to look in the mirror and like it. I want to live my life to the fullest and not be judged because of my size. I want to be my authentic self.
Question 3 Why Am I Not Successful? (The most revealing question if you ask me)
My Answer: Part of me feels like maybe I don’t deserve it. I constantly fight it; rebelling against eating healthy. I’m frustrated that there is no “Finish Line.” Honestly, I’m also kinda scared. I wonder if I lose all the weight and become a perfect 10, then what? What will I do with all the emotions I currently shove down with food? Will I become a smoker? A drug addict? A mean evil person? I don’t have any solid answers, just random thoughts going through my mind. This post may not make sense to anyone but me. But, if it does make sense, feel free to leave a comment and let me know what you think.

Have you ever asked yourself these questions? If you are beyond your happy healthy weight, and the scale yells out mean things to you, why are you still overweight?

7 Comments
  1. I don’t deserve it. That is my biggest issue. And your whole post makes total sense. My scale screams one at time please. Lol I grew up in a big family. Food and snacks were everything. Birthday parties, weddings, graduations, funerals, and the “just come over and we will make something to eat”. It has always been a part of my life. It is so hard to change the way we were brought up. With Mark losing over 200 lbs with the surgery, I feel like I have to lose the weight so that I can keep up with him. But I take it one day at a time and I only throw tantrums once in a while when the scale jumps up a few numbers. If you ever figure it out let us all know. We will be waiting. LOL Thanks for letting me vent. Thanks for all the podcast and all of the encouraging words about everything. You’re the greatest!!!
    Tam

  2. What Tammy said.

    Thanks Carli for being so naked with your honesty. This is a question I’ve been trying to beat back with an ugly stick for the past 3 months. There are so many contradictions going on – the scale says the mean ugly things, yet my clothes still fit. My guy says the nicest, sweetest things, yet I say the mean ugly things – like I wont succeed at this.

    My resolve, as I was sucking in my tummy this morning while brushing my teeth, is to figure out how to break thru the happy weight my body seems to be holding on to, oh and to run the 5 mile run over 4th of July.

    I’m still searching for a better reward option other than pancakes – I’ve tried TOMS as a reward, but I haven’t made it there yet so I get discouraged. I’m still searching on how to combat boredom. I’ve tried snacking on cherries, cantaloupe, celery…but the weekends scream for chips.

    Like Tammy said, thanks for the podcasts, the inspiration, the kick in the pants. However, the one thing I’d like to negate is that you, Tammy, me – we DO DESERVE IT. We deserve to happy, we deserve to be healthy. We can channel the emotions thru other avenues – smacking tennis balls when we’re angry, going for a bike ride to clear our minds, relaxing by the pool with a glass of wine after a hard day. I know – I need to keep my own advice in the forefront. But WE DO DESERVE IT.

  3. I love this post and it makes total sense to me! And I’m sorry if this is long. I am overweight because for years I was afraid of doing everything that leads to losing weight. I didn’t diet because I didn’t want to be like others that failed at it. If you don’t try you don’t fail right? I was ashamed to exercise in front of people because I was afraid they would look and laugh at me for doing something only thin people did. I thought food and inactivity protected me from ridicule.

    I want to lose weight so that I can finally be healthy. I want to walk into the Doctor’s office and have her say, ‘You have done so well you no longer need this medication and your heart looks great!’ I’ve been wishing that for years now but wasn’t doing much to make it happen.

    I am not successful because I am still afraid of failure. It’s hard to change that habit. I know that even as I am working on my body, I’ve got a much longer way to go mentally.

    Carli you deserve this so much. I don’t know you personally but because you are so real in your post it draws so many to you. Anyone that can do that deserves everything her heart desires. As always, you rock!

  4. Carli-

    This was a great post and not offensive at all. I think that some people truly do not get to the heart of why they may be overeating or not losing weight. I feel that for women it’s more psychological than anything.

    For me it was emotional eating and simply not paying attention to nutrition that led me to becoming overweight. I would eat when I was happy, mad, bored, lonely. I gave myself a reason and used food for comfort. I think that started in childhood (not to blame my mom LOL). My family celebrates with food at events too.

    When I got married, my hubby could and still can eat whatever he wants and I just ate what he ate. BIG mistake. It was only after I joined WW and then started reading about nutrition on my own did I realize how much sugar and white flour I was eating that was derailing me.

    I think it’s great that you are answering these questions–don’t give up. After I reached Lifetime, I kind of fell off the wagon a bit and enjoyed food way too much. I had to get back to basics and it is STILL a struggle for me to have balance in my eating. It’s always going to be a bit of a struggle!

    Don’t be scared of success!!! You absolutely deserve it and I know you can do it!

  5. Well Ms. Carli as you know for me to want be a doctor I HATE READING but sometimes it’s great to read the crazy things your write. Although we have a big issue with our weight I’m proud I have you to struggle with. You encourage me in so many ways and I don’t want you to get all big headed so I’m going to wrap it up but your an OK writer still have ways to go LOL.

    Love you

    Oh in my class my teacher asked me “What would you do if you know you couldn’t fail?” The first thing that came to mind was weight loss!

  6. I’ve struggled with weight my whole life for many of the same reasons posted above. Something clicked with me this January though and I not only promised myself this time would be different. I also promised myself that if I started to slip again and revert back to poor habits and no exercise, I would seek counseling to address why I was determined to harm myself. I’m on track and doing great using couch to 5k, weight watchers online, weight training, etc.
    Thank you for the podcasts. I’m presently on week 4, contemplating week 5 and have a goal of running my first 5k this Thanksgiving, making the biggest food day of the year about something healthy.
    Keep the faith Carli!

  7. I think we become so focused on our weight loss plan, exercise etc. that it begins to take over our entire lives. I kind of compare it to Forrest Gump when he ran cross country… he ran and he ran and he ran… then one day he said, “I’m tired of running.. I think I’ll stop now” and thats the way you begin to feel about being so focused on losing weight. I know for myself, when I hit that point where my weight is stuck and I’m working so hard and not seeing results .. I begin to just feel tired, why bother? But this time around rather than dwell on the fact that I’ve been stuck for months and months, I will celebrate the fact that even though my weight has not gone down… I am happy I have hit a point where my eating is controlled and my weight is maintaining!!! (not at the goal I set)
    But just get re-focused and take one day at a time.

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