Fat to Fit to Fierce

Sleeping in the Bed You Made

Much to my shock and horror, I got on the scale this morning and I saw that I gained 4.4 pounds.  I stepped off and back on, to make sure it was right, with just as much disbelief as when I lost over 5 pounds in a week.  Yep, it was.  I was so confused because I joined a 12-week weight loss competition with some of my lawyer friends on Saturday.  Their scale showed me almost 10 pounds heavier than my home scale weight, which makes some sense because I only weigh at home when I’m naked.  But, honestly, I was a little freaked out, and I broke my “weigh once a week only” rule and I weighed myself when I got home from the weight loss challenge meeting.  My home scale showed that I’d actually lost a pound since my last weigh in. Whew, the increase was probably because it was a different scale, and I felt relieved that it was just the heavy winter clothes weighing me down.   So when I stepped on the scale today for weigh in Wednesday, I found it quite odd, that I gained nearly 6 pounds in FOUR days.

As I told you guys on my Face Book Fan Page, I stepped on a doggie bone that Miss Nyah left at the bottom of the stairs and twisted my ankle a little bit. I was so friggin’ mad, but of course she didn’t plot in her little doggie mind to make mommy trip and miss training days, so I got over it pretty quickly….Anyway, I’ve taken a couple days off training for my Spring 5K to recuperate, but certainly that’s not enough to gain 6 pounds in 4 days.  AND I didn’t even have time to write the blog post about going to the gym on Sunday, finishing Week 2 and pedaling and climbing on what I can only call the Devil Machine for 10 straight minutes after running on the treadmill. The first time I had tried climbing, just 2 minutes was torture.  So of course the only answer is food.  When I looked back, I didn’t track and much as should have, and I did let some naughty foods in.  Well actually more than some.  At work I ate cheesecake twice and one day I was feeling bored and lonely and ate ice cream (a lot).  Both of those foods triggered me to make other non-healthy choices.  But, I’m a big girl, I made my bed, a now I gotta lay in it.  I was a little freaked out about the gain this morning, but now I’ve kinda let it go.  I ate oatmeal and banana for breakfast and a turkey sandwich and chips for lunch.  I know chips weren’t the best choice, but I tracked it all on Calorie Count, and they’re not a trigger food for me.   And I’ve planned a healthy dinner (Chicken Stew) to help me stay under my target calorie range.  So, I’m off my shoulders and I’m moving forward.

P.S.  Do you remember my Special Friend? The guy I dated for a few months, then he demoted me to friend status for a year and then I demoted him to nothing status for the last 6 months?  Well, shortly after I ex-communicated him, I pretty much regretted it and missed him like crazy.  I realized I was pretty spoiled (I want it now, why won’t you give it to me?), and I was quite selfish as he had said.  Although my “selfishness” was really just a subconscious protective barrier I’d put up against men from loving so hard in the past and being run over and used.   But, it still comes off and selfish when I’m not willing to give, no matter what kind of pretty bow I tried to wrap around it.  Nobody likes to be called out their dirty laundry, especially me.  Through counseling and church I’ve become aware of the aspects of my character that need tweaking. I needed to stop letting my past hurt be bigger than my future….   Anyway, I’ve said all that to say, that he emailed me a couple weeks ago to congratulate me on my new book.  I replied back with a half page email that essentially said, “thanks, oh and by the way, I was wrong you were right.  A friend should give and make sacrifices and I didn’t, so thanks for helping me clean up some ugly parts of me that I hadn’t dealt with.”  He was responsive to it, and we emailed for a while (that was so 1997 of us) and now we’re texting every day (back to a modern way of communicating).  It’s so funny how easy it is to get right back into things, even though months had passed since we spoke.  I just know that, sometimes you do need the kind of friends that encourage you to grow, even if at times it’s a little uncomfortable…

3 Comments
  1. You made some good steps…recognized that what you ate in the past added the extra weight and making better choices today moving forward. That’s the way to get back on track, especially when injured.

    I love your self reflection. Being able to recognize a trait that could be tweaked here and there and making the improvement is just awesome. I need to work on that!

    Big hugs from Houston!

  2. Wanted to say “way to go with the self introspection” I have been married for 23 years and I still get woken up by a good sermon to my selfish ways especially regarding my husband. It is an easy trap to fall in to especially during stressful times. I wanted to comment on your scale issues, remember to watch your sodium intake as that can affect the scale a lot, also body inflammation can add on to it as well. This becomes even more so the older you get. Advil for the inflammation always works well. Keep up the good work and if it helps any I only weigh myself twice a year and my way of keeping track is by doing a body fat test cuz muscle weighs more than fat!

  3. Don’t beat yourself up, think about how far you have came and look at it like new week, new start. You can get it off this week. I hope your injury heals fast, when I had to take off a week with my achiles I had a hard time getting back into it. Just remember we are cheering for you and are so proud of your progress.

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