The Red Carpet
So does this mean that I was working out in the hottest new couture dress, and dripping with diamonds? Absolutely not, I was stuffed in my Skinny Jeans and dripping with sweat. I agreed to do the city court filings for my job today. Today was the MLB, All-star game and Red Carpet Parade day. As I walked toward the court house, I smiled and waved at celebrity baseball players riding down the red carpet parade down the middle of Market Street. And much to my surprise, when I was about a block from my destination, the parade route turned, and there was no getting across. I looked up and noticed the secret service helicopters hovering above, and figured I shouldn’t risk, hopping the fence and running across the red carpet. So I turned and followed the parade route. I saw some seemingly friendly cops who might direct me in the right direction. As I approached him, he immediately started shaking his head no. I said “Excuse sir, can you tell me how to get across; I need to go the court house.” He said “You Can’t.” I replied, “But, I need to get across for work.”
He replied “You can’t,” to which I again replied “I need to get across.” He yelled “Read My Lips, You Can’t Get Across, I can’t make a wedge just for you to get across.” At this point it was hot, my jeans were starting to stick, and I was getting very frustrated. I forced a smile and said “the parade must end at some point, could you please tell me where to get across?” He gave me backwards wrong answer, so I went on my own in the opposite direction, and ended up right back where I started. I ran into some co-workers who were watching the parade, and pointed me in the long, but right direction. When I finally got the courthouse, I was hot and tired. I had been walking for over an hour. The security guard at the desk said, “Oh, they stopped taking filings at 1 o’clock.” Before I could panic, the other guard informed me that they were still accepting filings. “Whew…” Now, it was time for the long journey back, as I passed the rude cop on the OTHER side of the red carpet, the devil told me to flip him the bird, but…. I didn’t. Finally another hour later, after maneuvering through the crowds and crossing the highway ramp, I made it to my car. Sweaty back, and tired feet, but mission accomplished!
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