I couldn’t choose between “Holy Crap” (because today is Sunday) or “I Was Full of Crap” as a blog post title.  Because, both titles are totally accurate…..  Somehow, some way, my Big Little Sister, convinced me to go get colonics.  I was always curious about it, but never bold enough to actually do it….until today.  It’s supposed to be good to jumpstart weight loss and cleanse old gross stuff off of your colon walls.  We went to Dr. Israel a certified holistic colon hydro-therapist.  I was so proud that I could check off the highest rating for exercise habits, 3-5 times a week, and leave the soda drinker box blank on the health pre-screening form.   Now, I’m warning you, I’m about to get really graphic and really gross, but you know you’re curious too!  So keep reading, I won’t tell anybody you read this… So here is how the “crap” went down today.  I made my sister go first, because we are so similar in so many ways that I knew that whatever adverse reaction she would have, I would probably have also.  The doctor was freakishly excited, and told my sis to lube up her butt with vegetable oil and get on the table-like board connected to a toilet. She covered her legs with a towel for privacy, while she laid on her back in the baby delivery position.  She then instructed her to find the right hole and insert the tube.  How do I know? Because, I was right there watching everything.  Call me gross, but I needed to know the process if I was going to do it.  The doctor turned on the water and the process began.  It reminded of siphoning gas from a car.  The water flows in and somehow the water and everything else comes flowing out.  My sister said “I feel like you’re watching me take a dump” to which I replied “That’s because I am.”  She said after a few minutes it felt almost therapeutic, like the toxins were being flushed away.  I was still very skeptical about the whole thing.  But, I went along with it and took my turn on the board after my sister and the doctor got all cleaned up.  I covered up my good pieces with the towel across my knees.  Me and my sis are close, but we had to draw the line somewhere LOL!  I put the small tube in, and believe it or not that was the least uncomfortable part about the whole experience.  The procedure was horrible!  The doctor said people who are control freaks often have a hard time relaxing and letting go.  Well, I am a control freak, and it was very hard for me to feel comfortable involuntarily doo-dooing on a table.  It felt so gross, like I had gas and diarrhea.  Finally after about 45 minutes of poop and warm water spraying out of my butt, it was almost over.  I had to run to the bathroom twice after I got up.  I felt so sick, I was sweating and my legs were shaking. My sister even admitted that she didn’t tell me about the bad parts because she knew I wouldn’t have done it!  She is unbelievable!   I will NOT do this again.  The doctor explained that it was the body’s way of going through a detoxification process, and that she has seen colonics cure everything from allergies to cancer.  Whatever!  If that’s what it takes, then I guess I’ll just remain “Full of crap.”

  1. I read your blog earlier then saw the picture you posted later. OMG! Don’t think I’ll be signing up for that treatment any time some. Much worse than what I had invisioned.

  2. Oops! I meant soon 🙂

    • I had a real picture of my sister on the table, but I thought that might be going to far. This animated graphic was more than enough! LOL!

  3. Dont’ be discouraged. Even though Carli was right, the process was a “mess” but, the outcome was great! The sick feeling went away about 10 mins after the treatment was complete and when i weighed myself this morning i had lost 4 lbs!!! 🙂 I was so motivated to take better care of myself that i ran a 5k on the treadmil at the gym today. I feel sooo much better inside and out. I will be calling back to set up an appointment for next week and finish the 3 part session. Don’t knock it til you try it. Everyone is different.

  4. ps thanx for not posting my pic lol

    • Wow Little Sister, I almost spamed you, I thought you were an imposter, you never leave a comment! Thanks for stopping and sharing your side of the story.

  5. I have been looking into colonics for awhile now and that is one of the funniest stories I have ever read. I’m at a stall at my weight loss so I may just have to try it. By the way, I love your podcasts, they make me actually enjoy running, which I never liked!!! I’m on my 2nd day of week 3, so I can’t wait to see what the rest of the weeks have in store for me.

  6. Thanks Stephanie, good luck, I hope your colonics experience will be more like my sisters and not mine. I’m so glad you like the podcasts. Keep it up!

  7. Hahahahahahaha! I laughed my ass off reading this post :o) My husband came and started reading and then with a weird look on his face walked away after just a few lines :o) That made me laugh even more :o) I have to say that I dont think I will try this :o) LOL

    Loving your podcast Carli, I am starting week 3 now and people actually think Im joking when I say I am running since it used to be so not me! I am so greatful to you and I am sure you dont realize what a success it was to get me off that couch :o)

    Do you have an active Facebook page?

    • Mjöll that is soooo funny. I can only imagine your husbands face. Congrats on getting off the couch. I do have a facebook page, but I really need to get more active. I just don’t have time. Best of Luck!

  8. Hi Carli, that cracked me up! I have considered colonics too and have heard the good, the bad and the ugly, but never in detail.
    Thanks for sharing LOL

    • Ghada that was a lot of detail. Congrats on finishing your half marathon and making it to my wall of fame!

  9. Now I know for sure this is something I neva eva want to go through. I’ve been married 10 yrs and still won’t intentionally fart in front of my husband (never mind that he has seen me give birth 3 times and even caught the last 2 lol). Control freak? Yes I am.

    • LOL! Jenn, That’s funny that you still won’t fart in front of him. He caught your kids?! Wow!

  10. First of all, thanks for providing such a great blog. Loads of inspiration.
    As for colonics, they are actually not a good thing to do for yourself. They remove all the healthy bacteria from your intestines. Your body was designed to remove toxins from the skin and through elimination. If you are eating a balanced diet, exercise and drink sufficient amounts of clean water – you’re golden.
    Save your money for a nice set of sneakers.

  11. I have to say otherwise, since this article is actually very informative and helpful and not loads of crap at all. Thank you for sharing your story and experience on colonics, much appreciated.

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