Warning, this is going to be long, because I need you to relive my morning with me….I got up this morning as planned, but woke up before the alarm clock went off because I was so scared I would oversleep. I threw on some clothes and got my fur baby Nyah who’s always ready and willing to for a walk, even before 7 AM. I decided to walk over to my parent’s house. Nyah and I walked past my shopping cousin’s house, through the neighborhood park and down the street. I quickly remembered why I don’t walk in my neighborhood. It’s such a depressing ambiance (abandoned houses and litter everywhere). And scary stray dogs. I love being close to my family, but I need to move out of the ghetto…
Anyway, when I got close to my parents house, I called my little sister, because she was the only person who would not curse me out for calling so early. In her sleepy voice she answered the phone “Hey Boo!” I responded “Good Morning Sunshine, Me and Nyah are stopping by to say Hi.” She said “Why so Early???” I told her that I was following my training schedule and reminded her of the mandatory attendance requirement at Daddy’s banquet tonight. She came down and opened the door, we said a quick hello, she congratulated me for sticking to my plan, and Nyah and I were on our way. It felt so good working out in the morning, knowing that I wouldn’t have to stress about working out tonight. When I got back home, I checked my iPod I still had 10 more minutes so I circled the block again. I felt great, mentally and physically when I got home. I made a protein shake, and I got dressed in my pink bra, my pink sweater, my pink eye shadow and a matching bracelet. I was looking good and feeling even better.
When I got to work, I had a computer training session at 9 and another at 10:30. After the first session I checked my email and ran to the bathroom. There was a little toilet paper left in the toilet, so I flushed, and then turned around and started to pee. I heard water rushing and wondered what was going on. Before I could react, the toilet had backed up, there was nasty toilet water, gushing out and down my pants. My underwear, everything was soaked with toilet water. I was still peeing, so I couldn’t jump up until I was done. I was totally freaking out, and this really nice temp girl, I don’t even know her name was nice enough to ask if I was okay. Everything was soaked. She handed me tons of paper towels over the stall door. It helped some. I didn’t want to pull the soggy clothes up, but I didn’t really have a choice. When I came out, she said “well you look really cute.” At that point it didn’t even matter anymore. As I squeaked out of the bathroom with every step, walking like a zombie from MJ’s Thriller video, all I could think was that I was going to catch coochiejaccolitis or some nasty sounding disease I can’t pronounce. I told my boss, I was going home to change, she replied “But this is the only training session” to which I unsympathetically replied “I’m going home to change.” After the longest drive in history, I took a quick wash up and changed clothes. Hopefully the rest of the day would be easier than my morning. Thankfully it was. We went the awards dinner with over 700 people and listened to speeches and ate…..boring baked chicken as expected. But, I’ll take boring chicken over a backed up toilet any day.

  1. You poor dear. After getting up early, getting in a workout and looking cute for work…sounds kinda like my b-day. My car was rutted in the mud!

    I understand about hoods – I love my home and would love it even more if I could relocate the yard/home about 10 miles north of where it is now. Ugh! Anyhoo – it’s home ownership, right?

    Glad to hear your day ended on a wonderful note.

  2. You always make me smile. Thank you for sharing your “adventure.” Have a fabulous rest of the week, lady!


  3. oh dear! hmmm… I’ll think twice next time I’m in a bathroom with paper in the toilet…ugh!
    thanks for the story… didn’t know where it was going with the ghetto foreshadowing… 🙂 thank goodness it landed in the office building bathroom!! take care sweetie!

  4. LaShaune, I almost didn’t know who you were “TexNYQueen” LIfe in the hood is a mess, but it’s all apart of the grand plan. Save a little money and when I move, I’m moving BIG!

  5. Jenn, I’m glad my craziness could bring you a Monday smile 🙂

  6. Mama Helen, it’s so funny, I’m sort of traumatized. Every time I went to the bathroom today, I would flush and run, it was so ridiculous. Thank God my journey through the hood was uneventful.

Leave a Reply