As much as I’ve tried; I’m constantly reminded that you can’t out-exercise a bad diet. I’m so addicted to sugary foods. And I’m always asking myself the big question from the book Made to Crave, do you love and rely on food more than God? Food is my friend when I’m happy, sad, bored, stressed, celebrating or grieving. For me, it’s much easier to grab a cookie and stuff down negative emotions, or eat some ice cream to celebrate a good time.
Additionally, I’m independent to a fault. I don’t like to ask for help, even from God. Instead of being happy that I don’t have to struggle alone, I’m frustrated that I can’t do it by myself. I can handle stuff without anybody else’s help right?… But, as my mama always says (quoting Dr. Phil) “How’s that working for ya???” …..hmmm it’s not really working at all. I have to start tackling these issues. I’ve learned through the course of dieting over the years that food cravings are much more physical than mental. So, I decided to do a fast. I was going to do a 40 day fast, but after researching I think I’ll start with 21 days. The few times that I’ve fasted in the past, the sole purpose was to lose weight. And, unfortunately, that burst of motivation to abstain from whatever, leaves as soon as there are free cookies in the kitchen at work.
This time, I’m fasting with a greater purpose, to grow spiritually, learn to rely on God when it gets hard and help loosen the grips on my food addiction. Food is our greatest carnal impulse. Fasting will help me master my appetite. When I learn to control my strongest cravings, I will gain more control and discipline in other areas of my life. I will use my cravings as a prayer alarm. Instead of eating to satisfy my cravings, I will pray. I’m learning to replace physical pleasure with spiritual pleasure.
Initially, I said I would fast from “desserts”, but I know myself well enough to know that after a week or so, I will start to alter my definition of dessert. I’ll start to say stuff like a frozen slushy isn’t really a dessert, animal crackers aren’t really cookies, and how bad could a fortune cookie be?
So, I made of list of things I will abstain from for 21 days:
All Cookies (including fortune cookies and animal crackers); Cakes; Pies; Donuts, pastries, brownies and muffins; Shakes, slushies, frappes (especially McDonald’s and Panera Bread); Ice cream, including frozen yogurt; and Candy (which is not really my thing, but just in case)
In the time I typically spend, obsessing about when I can eat another cookie, or have time to pick up a frappe, I’ll be praying. If I mess up, I will to start over from the beginning. This is all in line with me trying to add some discipline in my life. And, If I can lose weight, help break an addiction, and grow spiritually, it’s worth a shot. Since I conjured all this up yesterday, and don’t really know what I’m doing. I’m following the 21 day fast plan on my YouVersion Bible app on my iPhone for guidance.
Now for the general fitness update…My back has still been hurting. It feels like a pinching in my lower back. I took a few days off, hoping it would help rest my muscles. It really hasn’t so, after work, I went to the last Seven Pillars of Health class at church and made it to the gym around 9PM. My back was already bothering me as I changed into my tennis shoes. I almost went home complaining about how I’m too fat, blah blah. Then I made a conscience decision to at least walk. I got on the treadmill, and walked at a 3 pace, which is a brisk walk for me. I was only going to do a mile, but then my gym cousin got on the treadmill next to me and we talked until I walked for 30 minutes. I would’ve loved to get back to running, but right now my body is not going for that. So, I’m taking Roni’s mantra and “doing what I can, when I can.” Maybe I can get a massage? I don’t know, but I do want to be able to say when I cross that finish line in November that I gave it all I could, whether it be walking fast or running.