I woke up Sunday morning feeling a little differently than I normally do. I woke up feeling like I wanted to be “that fit chick.” I wanted to be that girl who walks around the gym with confidence in a sports bra or cut off shirt. I wanted to become that chick that you feel like you want to hate, but really, you know you can’t, because you can see the all of the hard work that she puts in to maintain her physique.
I woke up with a refreshed feeling that the fierce fit chick inside of me, buried (or hiding) under layers fat wanted to come out, she was ready to be seen. She needed to be heard, she wanted to do whatever it would take to break through. So, I stepped aside and let this energized motivated positive person inside of me takeover.
She was eager to juice fresh fruit from the market and excited to go to the gym before church. She took the stairs instead of the elevator and walked into the 2nd floor gym with confidence in her own right, not caring what other people thought or comparing herself to other women. Her confidence was almost shaken when she got on the elliptical stair climber cross trainer thingy and started to sweat profusely after only a minute or two. But, she accepted that maybe she wasn’t ready for this new machine and vowed to take it on another day. She moved over to the regular elliptical, hardly shaken by what normally would’ve been a huge embarrassment. She kept her fierce determination and pedaled with almost graceful ease for 30 minutes. She lasted longer than both of the seemingly fit chicks on the left and the right. She felt good, she felt accomplished, she felt proud, she felt like she belonged there.
She caught a quick glimpse in the mirror in the locker room when she was packing up to go home. Surprisingly, how she felt on the inside didn’t reflect who she saw looking back at her. She didn’t get scared, she didn’t quit, she didn’t slump back into “woe is fat me.” She just said eventually, they’ll line up, the inside will match the outside. She was determined to keep this attitude, knowing that one day the fierce fit woman would reflect back.
I let “her” take over all day. She didn’t eat the free donuts after church, she passed on the table bread during lunch with a friend, and declined a glass of wine while hanging out at her parents house. And at the end of the day, she went to bed feeling just as proud and determined as she felt when she woke up that morning.
I really like her…I think I’ll let her stick around a little longer…
What Did Carli Eat Today?
B– Juiced, (An apple, a bunch of grapes and a handful or 2 of spinach) before the gym, A bowl of raisin bran mixed with Uncle Sam cereal and a banana before church
L– Whole wheat pasta with spinach and sun-dried tomatoes. (No table bread!)
S– Nuts and raisins trail mix (picked out the M&Ms)
D– Mom made chili. I topped it with a little cheese, no crackers
High Five, Girlfriend.
Carli, You truly inspire me. Thanks so much for your post! I need to find that girl… maybe she will come out tonight during bootcamp fit test…(I hope)
Thanks for being a constant inspiration for me! I am constantly struggling to accept myself for who I am now, so that I don’t sabotage who it is that I want to become and you always seem to say the right thing to help me face my inner negative self!
High Five LaShaune!! Thanks lady. I don’t think I got to tell you Happy New Year, hope all is well.
Eva, bring her out! She’s in there!
awwww, thanks Christine! I’m just learning to be paitent with myself. I didn’t gain 100 extra pounds over night, and I won’t lose it over night either.