Okay, so I’m literally bursting out of my clothes. I remember a while back my pants wouldn’t button and I freaked out. But, I have to be honest, I kept stress eating whatever I wanted and I moved on to the next size in my closet, and now I’m bursting out of them. My muffin top stomach and the double boob effect is definitely not a good look, and neither is the joint pain. But, I told myself, I will NOT buy a size 22 pants again ever. I gave away all of my fat girl clothes to the Haiti victims. I think subconsciously if I buy some new pants in that size I will be telling myself that it’s okay to gain weight. I got on the scale this morning and I realized that I had gradually almost gained all of the weight back. (Note to self: avoiding the scale does not mean you didn’t gain weight…)
I guess this is what hitting rock bottom is like? What a wake-up call. I’ve tried every fad diet including the lemonade diet despite my knowledge that they don’t work. Well, actually, they do work great for a week or two and then you gain it back plus more. I guess I needed a reminder. I’m such a big picture person, I want a best-selling novel, I want 4,000 hits a day on my blog, I want to be a real estate tycoon, I want to lose 100 pounds, I want to retire at 40, I want world peace (LOL)….
But, I have to take it one day at time, despite the fact that that goes against my core personality. So, TODAY, I’m avoiding office treats in the kitchen and TODAY I’m tracking my food. Even Roni, my blogging/weight loss role model has to track sometimes, and she’s maintained her 70 pound loss for years. I hate tracking my food, but it works. I hate feeling like I need weekly support meetings but I do. I hate that have to eat veggies and fruit with every meal but I do. But…I really love that I was brave enough to write this post and hopefully inspire someone in a similar situation to take it one day at a time. “I only feel failure when I stop trying.”
What Did Carli Eat Today?
B– Slim Fast with almond milk
L– Santa Fe Grilled Salad with a handful of tortilla chips
D– Healthy Choice Frozen Entree and a side of Brocolli and cheese
S– Bowl of Cereal
Activity – Christmas Shopping for 3 hours lol
I know this post was not easy to write. I am losing my excess weight for the fourth time myself. It is a daily struggle and I pray you have the strength to make it through one day at a time. Keep up the fight. I believe in you.
Stephanie, thanks so much for your words of encouragement! Yesterday, was HARD, but I felt so much better waking up knowing that I tracked my food and stuck with the plan. It is a constant struggle, but we did it before, and we can do it again!
First, couage kudos for you for writing this post. *HUGS*
Don’t fret. We’ve ALL been there. Yesterday I ate my way through our work potluck. Trying to avoid the leftover treats today. I know I am going to the gym tonite though.
I HATE tracking but I have to admit when I do it, I am successful. I have learned that I need good structure to keep weight off and that includes going to my weekly WW meeting just keep my brain on the right mindset. Don’t hate on that, there’s nothing with it. We aren’t perfect, we’re HUMAN. Especially at this time of the year, with so much junk food thrown in our faces.
Keep your chin up and get back to meetings if you can. They’ve updated the PP and are doing extra sessions after the meetings. If you want to be online buddies, just send me an email. I’ll be there!
Hey Carli! Great post! It’s hard to admit that our imperfections, I lost alot of weight last year and I’m steadily gaining back, but I’m ready to get back at it and finish what I started too. Thank you for inspiring me! I just downloaded your podcasts for C25K!
Carli, I have had this post on my mind for a while now. While using your C25k podcasts, I lost weight and did my first 5k this summer! I was down to 257! Well, today, I got back on the scale and am back up 20 pounds. I too am re-committing myself to fitness and healthy eating. I downloaded a food journal for my phone and tablet today and am getting back on track!!! I am going to dust off my treadmill, too. You are not alone, and admitting we need to re-commit was our first step! Thank you for being positive and inspirational!
I know it was frustrating for you to see those pounds creep back on…the worst!
If it makes you feel any better, I want to tell you that YOU, your story and YOUR podcasts started my journey in July 2011 and to date, I’m down from 211.8 to 189.9. I’ve hit that plateau +2 / -2 for a few weeks now, so I thought I would come back to see what you were up to…
I ran 3 5K’s since starting your podcasts earlier this year. My best time at 39:56…and I can’t wait for the next. Thanks for your guidance! Welcome back on the bandwagon!!!
First, and most importantly, I want to say thank you so much for the great podcasts and blog. I just started the C25K program. I’ve tried other hardcore workouts and fad diets and failed over and over. I feel like C25K is something I can stick to, since it build progress slowly over time.
Regarding this post about size and weightloss… I recently wrote a similar post about being heavier than I’ve ever been and not fitting into any of my clothes. If you have time, visit http://mbrenn.com/2011/12/01/healthyweight/
After I wrote that post, some smart and lovely women in my life reminded me that being fit and healthy really isn’t about size. It’s ok to want to loose weight, but statistics show that unfortunately major weightloss is really really really difficult to keep off. Most people will gain the weight back, and sometimes more. This was really disheartening for me. But when I think about just sticking to a fitness plan and making healthy diet choices – not weighing myself and depriving myself or tracking my food – I see results and more importantly feel 100x better.
I hope some of that makes sense. And if you’re interested I highly recommend reading the blog danceswithfat.wordpress.com by a plus size athlete and Health at Every Size activist. She kicks ass and is a million times more eloquent and insightful than me ;p
Thanks Melissa for your support! I’m back in WW in full effect, I don’t do much with the online community, but I’ll bet its full of great ideas and support. I hope your new year is off to a good start.
Lisa good luck with the couch to 5K , I can’t wait to add your pic to the Wall of Fame when you run a 5K.
Stephanie thats great! We’ve done it before and we can do it again. It looks like you’ve taken the right steps to get back on track. I’m finally starting to feel in control again and it feels good.
Jerri, you did 3 5K’s?! and you still want more! Way to go! That makes me so excited to see people fired up about fitness.
M. Brenn, everything you said made sense, when I read your comment, it really stuck with me. It was confirmation that I’m shifiting my focus in the right direction, towards health and not fitting a certain size and weighing a certain amount. I can’t wait to check out the blog you suggested. Good luck on your journey, it’s nice to know someone truly understands.