Sometimes in life we have to make hard decisions. Although I have a “do everything” mentality, I’m learning that sometimes I’m just running in circles and not getting everything accomplished. Although I don’t have a husband or kids to keep me busy, everything else does. I have full-time, very demanding job at a law firm and I own and manage investment properties full-time. Not to mention my website that I write for and maintain while trying to break through emotional overeating and train for a half marathon while raising money for cancer. Oh yeah and I’m writing a future best-selling novel. I rarely come home and “relax” after I get home from the law office. I usually change out of my business clothes, put on my landlord “hat” and meet the maintenance guy. We spend so much time together that my family and friends are convinced we’re having some sort of twisted love affair… (we’re definitely not by the way..lol)
We go the hardware store, and run around my properties making sure things get fixed properly. This week alone there were leaky pipes, broken door knobs, and an ongoing apartment rehab for a unit that’s been vacant for a year. The previous tenant was a hoarder, just like you’ve probably seen on the TV show. There was one room in the apartment that I never even saw until after she moved out. There were clothes, bags and trash stacked from floor to ceiling and you couldn’t open the back room door. There was only a little pathway from the main front entrance to the kitchen. Everything else was floor to ceiling junk. She even had a broken doll house from when her daughter was 3 years old…her daughter is an adult. You can only imagine how much work we had to do just to peel back enough layers to see the nasty floor. Anyway, when I finish all of my real estate errands, I come home and write my blog posts. I had to face the music and realize that something has to give. Of course I’m not giving up blogging, I love it, it helps me stay on track and I get a great warm and fuzzy feeling from helping people all over the world learn to run and get active. I tried to get rid of the property, but apparently, divine intervention mapped out a different plan. At first, no realtor would even list the property, then finally, I put the building on the market, and my listing contract expired without so much as one interested buyer. Then, the realtor’s office closed down, the bank denied my short sale, my family and friends disapproved of me selling, and I got great new tenants that I didn’t even ask for. These events, plus a little prayer for guidance led me to believe that I’m stuck with the property. I’m sure when I’m 50 years old and I can retire, I’ll look back and be grateful, but now I’m just annoyed and tired of it costing me lots of money…
Well, what’s the point of this lengthy post now that I’ve done a complete brain dump? Unfortunately, I decided that I’m not going to be able to train for the half-marathon. I feel like a quitter, I don’t like to commit and then back out. But, I really don’t have the time and energy to give Team in Training all that it deserves. If I host any fundraiser, it needs to be raising money to pay the mortgage, buy copper pipes and pay for new window installation. Additionally, when I was working my “real job” preparing for the big national trial, I got way behind in training. When I told my Special Friend, yesterday, he sarcastically said “oh, you realized you don’t have time to train between working your 12 jobs?” … I guess he was right…I don’t. So, if you’re still reading and managed to keep up with my wacky train of thought…simply put, of course I’m still going to be active, but I have to quit Team in training. I need to slow down, I know I won’t be able to raise $1,000 and finish 13 miles in the next 2 months. But hopefully, in two months, I’ll be a few pounds lighter with weight watchers, have a fully occupied property and….peace of mind from learning to take baby steps.
Hey Carli! I’m happy and sad to read this. I’m sad that you are stepping back from the 13.1. But I’m even happier that you are listening to your body and admitted that this one is not for you. There will be more to come. You need to be complete in the rest of your life first. I’ve been telling this to a friend of mine who is an Ultra runner. She kept trying for her 1st 100 miler. Well, on New Year’s Eve, I seen her finish her 1st 100 miler, after 3 other tries. I had told her that one of these days the right race will sneak up on you. I know you have finished your 1st half. There will be many more in the years to come. So, don’t feel bad about this and keep tracking and posting!!!
Thanks for being there for all us. We love ya!
I certainly know how it feels to have more things to do than time. I put off exercising until I finished my thesis. The problem was that I often felt guilty about not exercising and then I wouldn’t get around to what I really needed to be doing. I had to learn to compromise with myself. It wasn’t perfect but it worked. I started exercising, though not as much as wanted, and I started setting realistic goals for myself. So after 5 long years I finally managed to come to terms with what I needed and what I wanted to do. You have to do what you need to do, but you also need to acknowledge what you want to do.
Carli – my motto for 2012 is “TRUST MYSELF”.
Your decision epitomizes the motto.
You have nothing to second guess about your decision.
Or to defend.
You trusted yourself.
The TNT purple people don’t judge.
They are there to help you succeed.
Your decision is not QUITTING.
It is about learning to “TRUST MYSELF” … that sort of honesty about what you can do, what you can handle and what is right, is what that motto is all about.
I am actually VERY PROUD of you. Making this decision was very hard – and that you tackled it and made it – proves to me that you are on track for an amazing 2012.
You provide strong leadership and are a tremendous role model, even when you make this kind of decision. It shows us all, you are real. That’s the Carli I’ve grown to admire so much over these several years.
hi! YOU are not a quitter. Good grief! how many people even think about doing a half? You are a smart grownup who has learned how to make good decisions for yourself… Love Janet’s comments above…ditto!
By the way~ Awesome job on the 14 days of tracking points… (me too! …definitely not easy!)- have a great week! one step at a time… 🙂
Thanks Tam! You are so right, the right time will come. Now that I think about it, it had to try at the half a few times before I actually did it. I appreciate your support! Love Ya back 🙂
Ria, you said it best. I felt so gulity when I wasn’t training, but I also couldn’t just let my property fall into a hole like I was doing. Thanks for understanding and helping me feel like a made a good decision.
Awwwww Janet, you almost made me cry! Your comment came straight from the heart. It was so hard for me to come up with the decision, and even harder to write the post. This post sat in “draft” mode for a whole day before I actually published it. But you are right, I don’t have to defend it, just trust myself. My TNT coach was totally understanding, it was only me beating up on myself. It’s people like you that support me and keep me going, even when I think I’m moving backwards, you helped me see that being real and human, helps others move foward. *Hugs*
Ms. Helen, I am grown up huh? and I guess that comes with grown up responsibilites and decisions. Wasn’t Janet’s comment great? Thank you both for helping me realize that I’m not a quitter, b/c that’s certainly the way I saw until I read your comments. Now, I feel a little relief that I can get the rest of my life organized first and not feel guilty.
When you told me you couldn’t run “quitter” didn’t cross my mind. I think it’s great that you would rather put it off until later and give it your all rather than to do it now and feel guilty for NOT giving it your all. I usually don’t post on here but I want you and the world of bloggers know that your big little sister is very proud of you! You’ve been through a lot in your weight loss journey and many would have QUIT. But you havent and that is something that motivates us ALL 🙂 Love Ya!
You are such an inspiration! your podcasts have helped me train and continue training for a half marathon relay I’m doing with a friend. I know you are busy but look forward to when you have the rest of your bridge to 10K training up.
Big Little Sister…Girl I thought somebody hacked your account. You actually commented wow! Your comment was so special to me because I am always trying to do to much, but in the midst of it all I never gave up trying to lose weight. I hadn’t really looked at it like that…. I feel so much peace of mind now that I’ve prioritzed things. Thanks girlie!
Pattie your comment had me really laughing. I know you’re busy but uggggh, we need that. lol… I talked to my friend at the studio the other day. He’s doing big things, music beats for rappers and jingles for banks. I’m so proud of him! But anyway, he is still making time for little ol’ me. We have all of the music for the next week. I just need to go record the vocals. Tyler Perry said recently in order for our seeds to grow we have to take time to focus on each one. I had some other seeds (mainly my real estate) that needed major attention, and the apt rehab should be done this week. Whew! Well that was probably much longer a explanation than you needed, but long story short, things are settling down, and the B2 10K is moving up on the list.