Lately I’ve been working on growing myself spiritually.  So, I’m sure you’ve noticed that I’m talking more about God and church, because that’s what I’m gravitating towards.  I was so happy to see that my post about “Why We Have Addictions” was helpful to so many people.  I’ve learned a lot through my many weight loss attempts over the years.  First I discovered proper portion control through Weight Watchers.  Then I realized, much to my disliking, that I’m an emotional eater, and the problem runs deeper than counting calories or points.  More recently I’ve discovered that my overeating is actually an addiction, and that I use food, just as a drug addict smokes crack and an alcoholic drinks liquor.  I eat when I feel, stress, joy, sad, for comfort and even as a reward.  It’s not a pretty picture, but those are the cards I was dealt.

It’s what Stephen Covey (author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People) calls a Principle.  No matter how much you ignore or disagree with a principle, it still stands.   For example, no matter how ridiculous, or inconvenient you think gravity is, you are still pulled to towards Earth by that force.  Another life principle is that “you reap what you sow,” there are no short cuts.  If you do the lemonade diet and quickly lose 14 pounds you will gain it back when you start eating food again.  He said, “You can’t forget to plant in the Spring, play all Summer and then cram in the fall to bring in the harvest.”  I’m discovering some of my own personal life principles.

The first time I lost 50 pounds, I actually thought I was “cured” from being fat. Up until this point in my weight loss history, I never fully accepted that this is a lifelong battle and there is no cure.  “How could you not know that?” you might ask.  Because, I knew it was supposed to be lifelong, but I didn’t want to believe it, or accept that I have such an unhealthy relationship with food.  It seemed so silly to have an issue with food.  Although, the goal of Weight Watchers is to become a “Lifetime Member” honestly I still saw it as a diet.  My only motivation to become “Lifetime” was to not have to pay for the meetings. I just wanted to lose the weight so that I can wear cute clothes and strut in high heel shoes. Oh, and gaining better health was just an added bonus.  I never wanted to fully embrace it as a lifestyle change.  Who wants to be a weight watcher forever? Not me.  The truth of the matter is that no matter what crazy fad diet I tried, the core principle never changed.  Regardless of whether I wanted to be a lifetime member, the truth is that I have to adopt healthy eating as a lifestyle not a diet.  ALL diets are a scam, there are no shortcuts.  The only way you will lose and keep the weight off is to change your habits forever, not for “30 days” or “6 weeks.” I’m an emotional overeater with an addiction to food, and I will have to manage my responses to my cravings everyday for the rest of my life to maintain a healthy weight.  Weight Watchers is simply a tool to help me do that.  But, if I treat it like a diet, then it still won’t work. Now, I know my truth, but I haven’t fully accepted it yet.  Nevertheless, I’m praying everyday that God help me accept it and that I become more patient with myself.  I’ve stuffed my emotions with food for almost 20 years, I’m learning I’m not going to wake up tomorrow and be thin and crave spinach.

So, I appreciate you, my Fiercelings, for being patient with me as I learn and discover more about me.  I asked myself, why do 1,000 people still come and visit my website daily, and check on me and leave encouraging comments.  I realized it’s because, just like I truly believe that you can learn run, you believe I can lose the weight.  I know we can continue to make these lifestyle changes together!

  1. You and your battles give me hope. Its nice to see a real person struggling just like me. It gives me hope that I can overcome my issues and arrive in a better place. I feel like I am on this journey with you.

  2. Amen! I have to think every time I put food in my mouth, “Am I doing this because I’m hungry, or because I am feeling some emotion that I think this will dull” It can be a daily struggle. And just when I think I’m through it, life throws me something that makes me start fighting all over again! Just keep on fighting it, and if you slip, you can always get back up and start again.

  3. So true! I have come to the conclusion, after the 7th time joining WW, that I need to think of those weekly meetings as my AA – and to go as often as I need to during the week because of my food addiction. Now I have to learn not to transfer my addiction to something else, such as shopping mindlessly. Being mindful of what and why I’m eating doesn’t always work, but hopefully, with time, those addictive behaviors will ease. It is definitely a lifetime/lifestyle change.

  4. I am proud of you.

    As someone who lost 100lbs in 1 year with no problem (once I made up my mind to do it) with no gimmicks, diets, pills, etc. I applaud you.
    I love that you realize we are growing and constantly learning!
    My struggles wasn’t the weight loss (I was nearing 300lbs) it’s maintaining the loss. While I’m healthier now than then, medical issues are causing gain and I’m struggling to find a healthy balance to keep most off.
    I’m not ever giving up my red wine 😉
    I am so very proud of you!
    Ps I found you over a year ago c25k and loyal lurker ever since!

  5. Hey Ash! We are on this journey together! Thanks for commenting.

  6. Hey Angela! That is the key, we have to expect that trouble is going to come and that we are going to slip. But, just becasue you buy a cake and eat it with your sister because it “looked good”, doesn’t mean that the next day you can’t throw the whole rainbow colored deliciousness in the trash can when you come back to your senses. Can you guess who did that? LOL!

  7. Kathy, I have probably joined WW about 7 times too! No shame in that. It means that we haven’t given up, but still have more to learn. My doctor helped me realize that I wasn’t as commited as I should be. I’ve made a comitment to start attending EVERY week, and make up a meeting if I miss my regular day. I totally understand your concerns, I wonder will I become a drunk now since I’m not insanely eating?….probably not. That’s why I’m working on growing spritually and I can rely on God to help me, and not have to transfer the feelings to another destructive habit. Just accept feeling for what they are, and keep moving foward. Good luck on your journey! We can DO THIS!

  8. Thank you Shauna! I’m proud of YOU. 100 pounds is not small task. I’m finally learning that the key to all of this has nothing to do with will power, but simply a decsion to commit. Remember all the things that carried you through the intial loss. Also, since you’re a “Loyal lurker” you’ve probably heard me mention Roni, ( she has maintained her 80 pound loss for years, even after having a baby! She has great tips for maintenance. I hope things get better for you medically. Best of Luck!

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