Everybody knows that I struggle with my weight and I’m always looking for ways to improve.  One of my best friends from college suggested that I go see a Christian counselor.  I figured that since I’ve tried everything from the cabbage soup diet to Beyonce’s Lemonade Diet, trying a more traditional method couldn’t hurt.  I did a simple google search and found a place in the city not too far from me.  I liked that they were super organized and had a form to fill out online.  They reviewed my concerns and matched me up with a counselor.  She called me and scheduled the appointment.  Then I became quite nervous about the whole thing. Only crazy people need a therapist right? What could some stranger really tell me about why I eat cookies?  Will she think I’m being trivial seeing her about overeating?

About a week later, I went to see her right after work.  “Why don’t you have a seat on the couch?” she said.  I chuckled a little bit under my breath.  I can’t believe you actually sit on the couch like the patients on TV.  Except this couch was an older greenish tweed couch, not a plush brown leather one like I had imagined in my head before I got there.  I said down as instructed and she started with basics, and asked me to tell her about me.  To my surprise, she wasn’t writing anything down on a tablet, just listening.  She quickly ascertained that education was important to me and that I have a Type A personality. Which according to Wikipedia means “highly ambitious, rigidly organized, highly status conscious, can be over-sensitive, are known to take on more than they can handle, want other people to get to the point, proactive, and obsessed with time management, workaholic.” Hmmm that does about sum it  up pretty accurately.

She explained that everything was confidential unless I was in danger or unless I was a danger to someone else.   I was kind of surprised and a little thrown off kilter that she figured me out in like 5 minutes and that she asked questions I didn’t have answers to. Then she asked, how’s your relationship with your mom?  I wanted to ask her, “how’s your relationship with your mom, I see a wedding ring, how’s your relationship with your husband, nosey lady??”  I have an amazing relationship with my Mom, but it’s just weird for a stranger to ask such personal questions.

She asked why I was there; I told her my friend recommended it.  We discussed my boring high school years as a nerd, and my college years as a nerdy party girl.  At the end of the session, she told me something I had Never thought of.  I know I wasn’t molested as a child, I’ve got a good Daddy, my parents are still married, my friends are the best, I love my job.  I just didn’t know what she could possibly say. Then she said my weight issues are connected to my Type A personality.  Huh? Say What? I don’t get it?

She said often times people who are Type A have a weight problem and it comes out in the form of overeating or anorexia.  She said “people who think like you set really high standards of perfectionism, and when you can’t meet it, you get frustrated and do nothing at all.”  Wow…that got the wheels spinning in my head.  She further said that she would try to help me “adjust my standards” as a form of therapy.  “How do you feel about that?” she asked.  “Very uncomfortable” I replied.  I’m even uncomfortable writing it now.  “Adjust” sounds like a really nice word for “lower” your standards. Which to me, sounds like settling for less than my best…  But, I told her I would consider it, because I feel like I’ve exhausted the other possibilities. She told me that we would work towards being comfortable in today, being under God’s grace.  *Sigh* I’m not really excited about this, but the fact that she was able to tell me, that my desk at work was messy without ever having seen it, and explain why I hate laundry, I guess I’ll give her a chance.  She said feeling uncomfortable was normal, and it wasn’t a problem if I was willing to at least be open to her ideas.  “How long will this take?” I asked kind of impatiently. “This will not be something you can check off your list” she said sternly.  She saw the disappointment and confusion go across my face. “But it usually takes at least 20 sessions,” she relented.  Whew, this little lady has me all figured out.

Well, I have no idea if you’re supposed to share details of a counseling session on your blog.  But I figured it might be eye-opening and helpful to other confused Type A people like me.  If I can show you pics from the dentist office and share details about my colon cleansing, I’m pretty sure that I already crossed the line of what’s appropriate to share, long ago.

That’s about it….  But, I can tell you that 2013 is going to be HUGE!!! New podcasts, new ebooks, both are almost complete.  Look out world, here I come!   

  1. Carli,

    Good for you – for going and for sharing. It helps many of us, too! I remember thinking what a perfectionist you are when you wrote about following your own 5K program and not movining on until you could run at a certain pace. I thought to myself “why?” Isn’t the point being able to run at what is comfortable for you. I can’t run at a pace I did when I was 10 years younger nor 10 pounds heavier. But I’ve learned to accept those facts, enjoying running at what pace I can, and working towards the goal of completing the 5K and liking to run. Hang in there, girl! And thanks for all you do for others. Now go put up your feet, grab a book or just watch a TV show without doing anything else 😉

  2. Thanks Kathleen for continuing to follow my blog! I don’t even remember saying that, but that sounds like me…lol. But what’s funnier is that I was thinking “I don’t have time to watch TV and do nothing else”… I truly did not realize how deep my Type A personality ran through my veins…. Thanks for your support 🙂

  3. Carli, Counseling can be soooo worth it, good for you for taking that first really difficult step!! The toughest part of counseling is finding a good therapist and it sounds like you’re over that obstacle already! The next hardest thing is opening up to this person. It can really hurt and it often feels worse before it feels better, but it’s when you do the hardest thing that you get the best results. Good luck with this, I hope you get some really great insight and perspective! I just discovered your blog, I love your podcasts, I’m on week 4 thank you for helping me succeed with Couch to 5k!

  4. great post Miss Fierce! In case the month gets away, here is wishing you happy and blessed holidays… good luck with your sessions…and thanks for sharing and perhaps opening others up to the benefits of talking to someone to help us figure things out… take care! 🙂

  5. Wow! Thanks for the openness. I’m type A personality and your post has spoke volumes to me. I’ve been to counseling before but not about weight because my weight gain is recent but your post has made me consider going back.

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